Survival Suggestions for Families

Here you will find a list of what and what not to do.

DO

Do realise there is no quick and easy solution.
Do inform yourself about the disorders and their treatment.
Do attend support groups. They are there for you.
Do encourage your relative to get a professional assessment, from a practitioner experienced in eating disorders.
Do express honest love, by physical and verbal expression.
Do understand that your relative is ambivalent about getting well, and takes comfort in the control and rituals of the disorder.
Do examine your own feelings and thoughts about anorexia/bulimia, and your own body image or fear of fat issues.
Do encourage decision making and being responsible for those decisions at a level appropriate to the person's age.
Do allow your relative to be in charge of his/her routines of daily life.
Do realize that by giving up control, you’re setting the stage for your relative to develop healthy self-control.
Do seek life-saving treatment for anyone who is in jeopardy of endangering self or others.
Do accept yourself.
Do accept your relative.
Do make time for yourself, spouse, friends, and other family members. Remember to provide yourself with rest, freedom from worry, and fun.
Do get help for yourself. The disorder disrupts the family too, and the family needs help coping with it

DON'T

Don’t panic. Look around for the help you need.
Don’t isolate yourself from those who can help, or whom you may be able to help.
Don’t assume the person knows what they need or how you can help.
Don’t make your love a condition of the individual’s appearance, health, weight, achievement, or any other attribute.
Don’t comment- positively or negatively- on appearance or weight.
Don’t let these peculiarities dominate the household.
Don’t be manipulated. Require your relative to be responsible for his/her behaviour.
Don’t force or encourage your relative to eat, or to eat properly however in cases of children and young adolescents, adults need to be in charge in a firm, confident way, without force.
Don’t try to control your relative’s behaviour. It can intensify the problem.
Don’t impose rules except those which are necessary for the individual’s or the family’s safety and well-being. Avoid power struggles.
Don’t feel guilty or dwell on causes.
Don’t expect yourself to be a perfect parent.
Don’t expect (or hope) your relative to be perfect.
Don’t expect that the amount of time you worry will help somehow. See to proper treatment then help yourself relax.
Don't spend an unusual amount of time trying to persuade someone to eat, or going out of your way to arrange special foods or meals.